Haven't posted in a long while. We fell off the band wagon, got back on, fell off, rinse repeat a few times.
Currently we're on the wagon together, and hoping to make it stick. It's not fair how hard it is to lose weight, and how freaking easy it is to put it back on. I'm so tired of being fat. I'm so tired feeling ugly. But am I more tired of that than I am of having to count my calories every day? Of having to work out 10hrs/week? Of having to constantly think about every little thing I put in my mouth?
I managed to let myself get back up to 233, ung. Only my fat cloths fit. Again, suck. So last month we started counting calories, and doing P90X again. I'm riding with my buddy ~ 2x/week. We just completed Phase 1 Sunday, and moved onto Phase 2. Having this blog is nice, because I can look back and see how frustrated I was at this point then, and know that it got/gets better. I've just around 10lbs this first month, which is awesome on paper... but less so in my head. A LOT of that was the first week water drop.... and then it slows down. Little mistakes (eatting too much one weekend) seem to be amplified on the scale. And visual results are SOO far away. I'm not even REALLY happy with my visual results last time...but last time I wasn't counting calories like I am this time.
So here's my promise to myself (So look this up if you forget/mess up/whatever) I'm not going to stop counting or P90X until I'm happy with what I see in the mirror. If that's 180lbs, or 195lbs. Even then, I know I can't just STOP... I either have to find a new workout, or activity... and I still have to count or weigh...so I will never slid back uphill again.
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